sooo there are a lot (i mean A LOT) of articles out there about marriage, how to get married, when to get married, who to get married to. you get the gist. well obviously i have no first hand experience with marriage but i have so many great role models for it. like im talking high school sweethearts who have been married 22 years, who happen to be my parents. one set of my grandparents have been together for 50+ years and the other 35+, such a blessing.
i know getting married young cant be for everybody. not everyone meets their person young and by all means do not settle for a man just to get married.i also know that things happen in life, especially when you’re young that make it oh so difficult to even think about marriage. college is happening. or if not school then other major life changes. that stuff can seriously make it SO hard to think about ever having the time for another human in your life. all. the. time. having to answer to someone else, consider someone else. all that kind of stuff can seem incredibly intimidating when your plate seems completely full.
so dont get married. thats what most people would say, i know its what ‘they’ told me. “you have fun to have” “you need to experience life for yourself first” “you’re young and have your whole life to be married”
i get it. they’re older, wiser, hindsight is 20/20. those people only want the best for me in this life. well, and the next life too.
what those people don’t know is that ryan and i have every intention to not lose who we are just because we can check married instead of single on the census. we have dreams to travel world loving on God’s people and to live in a tiny home (seriously look them up, they’re awesome) and make friends in college. we want to do all of those things together.
but dont get married young. heres a couple reasons why.
1. because you wont have a college experience
that is absolutely right. you wont. im only engaged and im already not having a normal time in college. ryan and i spend most nights doing homework together, working part time, planning a wedding. we talk a lot of business. we discuss things like rent, budgets, insurance. definitely not the popular talk on a school campus. we socialize.. sometimes. but honestly, being 19 and engaged doesnt necessarily scream “invite me over, im super fun.” and that population isnt really a rapidly growing one. we dont fit in with anyone… not married people (they’re old). not single (they’re flighty). so where does that leave us? no parties. no study groups. no midnight movie showings or 3 am waffle house runs. but we get things like trying new recipes out on movie night, registering for towels and dishes, planning our life together. personally, im glad i have the latter.
2. because its not all about you
now my ‘soon to be’ isnt a need to know everything kind of guy. he trusts me, totally, completely and vise versa. in matthew 19:5 it says, “… For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” NIV ryan and i try to practice skills like this now so when we are married it will come more naturally. so i check with him when i have plans, he does the same with me. i let him know if i dont feel comfortable with something, he does the same. i am not my own anymore. yes, i am not my own in Christ either. not really a coincidence either. (more on that later) but i am part of a team now, another person has committed his life to me. ryan and i have a mutual respect and trust in each other. so, we make a point to say “hey i care about you and our relationship enough to have open communication.”
i could come up with a thousand & one more reasons to ‘not get married.’ but from what ive experienced even just in this engagement, there is more love and more life in this relationship than i have ever known. In Ephesians 5:25 it says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and give himself up for her.” i know love better, i know my savior better because of ryan. he forgives me more than times than 70×7. he loves me with a sacrificial love. he chooses me everyday, just like Christ chose me. he tells me when i feel so broken and messy that he’s there and it doesnt make him love me any less. how beautiful, like forreal.
Woah. sorry for the sap moment.
getting married young.. it is such a big step. but for me, it cant come fast enough. im proud to say that (Lord willing) i will spend over half my life with my best friend. i get to start the rest of my life sooner, experience more adventures with my husband sooner. but if you want to experience the dating world, the party scene then please be my guest. but as for me, im gonna be a bride June 4, 2016. (& we’re having a coffee bar at the reception cause why not)
thats my thoughts for today.
much love, extend grace, brew a cup of the good stuff.